My life journey

Two Hundred Sixty Third Entry

2007-06-01T19:08:13Z

Let's talk about this boring topic again : LOVE.

People ask, what is love?
And no one can really answer that question. People use examples. Love is when you sacrifice yourself for someone. Love is when you wish the utmost happiness for the one, abandoning your own.
But what is love?
Does it have a form?
Can you really be SURE that it is love you are talking about/feeling?

Love at the first sight. Is it love or lust?
Sight. You need your eyes to fall in love? How come? Doesn't love come from the heart only? Therefore, "love at the first sight" must not be the love. It is only a great deal of interest that makes you want to own someone for your own content.

Online love.
If you can fall in love with someone only by reading what he/she writes, imagining his/her sweet voice whispering in your ears, adapting your way of thinking to his/her, then it is love.
But what if you start to meet? Assuming you are so in love with each other that nothing can go wrong?
People keep details from each other, accidentally or deliberately.
Facts that come up to the surface make the first crack on the relationship.
You didn't tell me you were white/black/orange....
You didn't tell me you were Christian/Jew/Buddhist.......
You didn't tell me you were poor....
You didn't tell me you had a big family....
You didn't tell me you were not yet done with your ex...
I thought you are.... not that fat...
I thought you would look more beautiful....
Can't you dress a bit more up to date?
Are you really 21 years old only?

Sad... isn't it?

Love that grows over long time.
Must be the kind of love you want. What can go wrong with a relationship that lasts 10 years or more? As tough as steel, and yet as soft as the fur of a new born puppy.
But isn't such a love hard to nurture?
The funny thing about this love is, people spend more time asking if their other significant love them than asking themselves if they love their partners. It is not selfishness to hope to be loved, no no. But giving instead of receiving is actually what makes love, love.
For some reason everyone is drunk in their own passion and daydreams that they forget the actual meaning of loving someone. It's the matter of giving and not receiving.........
And while you are doing so, your love is still one-sided.
Count on luck and a bit God speed...... and the love may turn two-sided...............
And you will be the happiest person in the world ^__________^

And talking about that......
People in love have really unbalanced self-esteem. Girls think they are too fat, too ugly. A small pickle on your nose suddenly turns out to be bigger when you spot one. Dunno what boys are thinking about, but girls panic over such things .____________.

Perhaps you will be able to experience love to the fullest when you are formless~
Nothing to show, nothing to hide. And yet God creates human beings as unique, one different from the others.
What is ugly what is beautiful?
What is it actually that really bothers in a relationship?

End of lecture, need to continue studying for the exam tomorrow, xDDDDDD

Two Hundred Sixty Second Entry

2007-05-28T19:58:11Z

I have some drama to tell from MapleStory, my boring game -____________-

I think you guys still remember I told you my job in the game was a priest.
For the ones who don't know what a priest does, a priest can heal you (save you hp pots), bless you (add attack accuracy, weapon defense, magic defense, avoidability), increase the experience you get from killing monsters (which make a lot of high lvls LOVE you since after you reach 100, even if you train hard you will likely get 3-5% per hour, which means you hardly go to higher level without a priest).

So there I am, a priest, a high level priest, high enough to make every non priest player look at me and scream "Priest! Priest!"

Okay enough bragging. Out of all those fames (ha ha ha), I gain a lot of friends. But I soon realize that they all want me for what I can and not what I am. It kinda turns out stupid since I want them for what they are and not what they can -_______-

There is this guy, who shows so many compassion toward my complaints about people using me as a tool and not seeing me as a normal human being. Ha. Turns out he's the same kind.

I should have realized it sooner. He had quite some problems with priests other than me because he was, like, asking more than he could get and got angry if he didn't get what he wanted,
In high-level-training parties, priest's main task is to bless and increase experience (a skill named Holy Symbol, abbr. HS) and go through whole map to give away skills. NOT HEALING, although of course, we can. But it is not our main task.
He was in this party with his priest buddy, and the priest, I don't know why, didn't heal him as he was surrounded by monsters, which resulted in his death (10% loss, for him a big loss). I suppose the priest was busy chatting. I do that too. Chatting, I mean. Giving away skills only and not attacking is really boring, so I become chatty during my training time. When you chat, of course, you hardly pay attention at whatever happens around you, especially if it doesn't concern you.
So this guy was fighting at the bottom and the priest was above him, hanging on a rope. The guy apparently expected the priest to come to his rescue, since he stopped supplying his character with hp pots. Result? Well he died.
Then he started bitching around in the buddy talk : All priests are stupid, what kind of friend are you? Why don't you heal me? Dammit I lost 10%!!!! You have NO idea how much 10% is because you only lose 5%!!!

As a third party but intending to explain things to him, I interfered and told him starightforwardly that it wasn't a priest's task in such party to heal. if a priest heals, then its BONUS. A priest's main task is to bless and HS. That's all.
But he refused to understand. Well. Then the priest deleted him from his buddy list and the guy came to me whining. I was like, "I don't blame the priest" inside my heart. He praised me with 1000 compliments calling me the best priest ever in MapleStory. Heh.

It was during this double experience event (self-explaining) that it dawned on me that he wasn't that good a friend I thought he was.
We were partying before (training), and he suddenly signed off. The event was coming near and everyone in the party told me we have to get one more person in order to get the best experience out of the event. So I, as party leader, expelled him and replaced him with another attacker. One hour later he came back in, and flamed me for expelling him out of the party. The conversation went like this :

Me : I am sorry I had to replace you, but we waited for you quite a long time, so we all assumed you weren't coming back.
Him : You know me. You know I will come back. I also never boot you out of a party because you disconnect.
Me : Well disconnect is like, 5 min max gone. You were off 1 hour long.
Him : I had computer problems. I had to defragment my hard discs.
Me : Too bad then, I don't know that.
Him : Yeah, because you never have to defragment your discs.
Me : I am sorry? I do have computer problems and sometimes I have to be off long time as well. The difference is, I don't mind being booted because it is after all, my problem.
Him : ..........
Me : What do you want from me? To abandon my party and wait for you until you come back, whenever it is?
Him : ...........
Him : .......... Thanks for everything.
Me : Don't thank me, I know you are not thankful.
Him : No, I say that because I am going to delete you from my buddy list now.
Me : If that's what you want.

Then he deleted me.

Next day, he whispered me and said he was having a "bad day" and therefore he "accidentally deleted" me off his buddy list so he asked if I could add him back. Surprise. I didn't.
I want him to learn out of this.

Compared to other priests my level, I am really a very nice priest in person. I don't bitch around when I have to give away skills by going up and down a map and I don't act like an ass only because a lot of people need me. He also said that himself. I just don't understand why he still gets angry at me that easily. Heh.

I remember that I was always there for him. Whenever he died in many occasions I comforted him and sort. I remember once I died in a miserable way at Zakum (the boss monster) and I was totally devastated. Another guy who wasn't even my buddy tried his best to comfort me. And this buddy? He came to us, start comparing his equips and skills with the guy and ignored me. I left the map because I was hurt. And the guy excused himself from my buddy to come to me and comfort me. Funny eh? So much to a friendship.

Two Hundred Sixty First Entry

2007-05-15T16:22:37Z

My friend sent me this wonderful story. I would like to share with you all ^__________^

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead . "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house, I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."

"Carolyn," I said sternly, "Please turn around."

"It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, " Daffodil Garden ." We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-coloured variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn.

"Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at a time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world ...

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way.

"Start tomorrow," she said.

She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays.

The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for
regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"

Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting.....
      Until your car or home is paid off
      Until you get a new car or home
      Until your kids leave the house
      Until you go back to school
      Until you finish school
      Until you clean the house
      Until you organize the garage
      Until you clean off your desk
      Until you lose 10 lbs.
      Until you gain 10 lbs.
      Until you get married
      Until you get a divorce
      Until you have kids
      Until the kids go to school
      Until you retire
      Until summer
      Until spring
      Until winter
      Until fall
      Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money.

Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching.

If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone special.

I just did!

Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

God Bless

Two Hundred Sixtieth Entry

2007-05-14T17:46:27Z

I don't know where to begin the story, really. Lol.

This semester I have another practical course in Physical Chemistry, and again I am paired with someone (yoohoo, anyone remember the stupid girl I was partner with during my first Physical Chemistry practical course?).
To my delight, this boy is a real opposite of my previous partner (the girl). He is really smart, and diligent. No that is no sarcasm. He really is.
So what's the problem?
Well, you see....
I can't really get along with him O________o
He decides everything on his own, I really have no idea what's going on in his head. He decides that he will do all the mathematical part and I can do the theoretical part. Don't mistake me, this is a great thing for me. But I kinda dislike the way he thinks he is all better than me because he is all better than me ._______________.
Also, we have short oral exams before every experiment starts, and he always tries to answer the questions before I do, if necessary cutting my sentences .____________.
Do you get what I mean? Um, well I hope you do.

Anyway, today I talked to him about going upstairs to an assistant to question him about the whereabouts of our submitted protocol. Rather rudely he talked to his book saying that he couldn't make it because he had something else to do so I should go there alone. Um, sure but.... looking into my eyes would definitely show a bit more friendliness.

So I went upstairs.

The assistant was, to my unluck, in a very bad mood. I asked him politely if he was done with the protocol and he said sharply, "Didn't I tell you I would send you an email if it's done?"
I was taken aback. I said "Well, I am only wondering since it has been 2 weeks since we submitted the protocol. I fear your email doesn't arrive or sorta so I decide to stop by and ask about it."
Then he kinda realized that he was being rude (I guess) and started to talk about the protocol.
These were his exact words :
"The grammar is terrible. I can tell the grammar of the typed part (the theoretical, my part) is much worse than the one of the handwritten part (his part, mathematical).
I mean, I can understand that you are not a German but you are supposed to do better than this. This is wrong, that is wrong, this is also wrong.
By the way what does the word "colligative" means? It is not even German. ("It is in the script" I said. "Yes I know, but still.")
And why is the mathematical part written with hand? I would rather have it typed on computer."

I answered, "Well it took time to type down all the mathematical formulas on computer and writing them down is surely faster and easier."

"Well someday you will have to type everything on computer so why not practice now?"

I really had hard times keeping myself from crying.
Then I told him rather hastily that I would redo the protocol and I would give it to him later on (I wanted to get outta that place badly).
Bye, he said cheerfully.

So what did I do?

I went to the computer room, turned on my laptop and started working.
My feelings were all messed up. I was angry, I was mad, I was disappointed. More than all of that, I hate it that he had to comment about my imperfect German. Sorry but I have to deal with three languages at once. What about him? Pffft. Probably only one.
And he just had to compare me with my partner. Well I am sorry why can't he see the bright side? I have better handwriting than he does and only because he loves being a busy body more than doing everything together doesn't mean that I am a total moron.

I was soooooooo, and I mean really, so, very, awfully emotional about it that I actually broke down in tears in the computer room. And a boy saw me crying. Jesus, I was so embarassed. Probably to give me more space he left the room for some minutes so I could cry my eyes out. As he came back I was tearless but my eyes were swollen. Still hurt now -__________-
I skipped the next lecture because my eyes were swollen.

I typed down the whole protocol as well as I could, and miraculously I finished it within 2 hours. I even had time to look up the word "colligative" on internet and put it down on the protocol as citation from Wikipedia =P
In my craziness (out-of-mindness) as soon as I finished I rushed to the library, printed down the new protocol (7 whole pages) and ran up to him.

He saw me, quite surprisedly, and I said I wanted to submit the new protocol.
He frowned and said, "Okay?"
I asked, "Do you need the old one as comparation or can I rip off the whole diagrams to add to the new one?"
He looked through my new protocol and said "Wait, you typed down the whole thing? The handwritten part inclusive?"
"Yeap," I answered, with a trace of pride in my voice.
He looked through my protocol again and he said "Wow."

I told him to send me an email when hes done with correcting the new one. This time, I will wait 6 months if possible before I come up to him to ask about anything -_________________-

I left his office with a broad smile on my face.

Now, now. Isn't that a double-layered strawberry vanilla ice cream sundae with crispy chocolate sprinkles and extra creme and waffles, with a cherry on top of it? Now, I call that a good way to end the day ^_____________^

Two Hundred Fifty Eighth Entry

2007-04-21T18:32:42Z

GUYS OMG HELP! I AM BEING INSANE!!!

First of all, lemme explain something. Zakum is the strongest monster in Maple Story currently, and to fight it you need to gather around 30 people to defeat it. So the players create the socalled Zakum groups and make a schedule to do the run.

I am also part of the run, and for my Anorganic Chem Bachelor Exam I gave up my chance to be part of the 2 runs in this weekend, solely to learn for the damn exam which I hope will go well otherwise I will be really angry.
My job in the game is a Priest. A priest is needed the most in the Zakum run because we heal people so they can attack freely without worrying about their HP.
Anyway, people were disappointed back then as I told them I couldnt make it. I had to learn, I said.

All well and good. And they got another priest to replace me.

And here is the problem. I don't like it that they will finally go to the run with complete set of priests without me in there!!!
I am literally devastated to know that they don't need me anymore, I am about to burst in tears!!!

It really doesn't make any sense. I can't go anyway, so why the nerve?

That, is really, really selfish thought of me. People can even say I desert them for my exam (wait, since when is playing Maple more important then my exam, ah whatever), but I don't want them to desert me o.o

I suffer from some complex o.o

OMG!!!

I may not be selfish I may not be selfish T______________T

I don't wanna, really T______________________T

Two Hundred Fifty Seventh Entry

2007-04-20T16:20:59Z

This is one strange world we are living in....

Since I was a child, I had always been a quiet kid. I didn't go jumping and running and yapping all the time. Sometimes I did, but those were games after all. Mostly I had been really quiet.

Even after I grow up now, there is nothing in this world I love more than peaceful silence. My most favoured hobby, is SLEEPING. Yes, on top of all those remarkable hobbies of mine starting from painting, playing piano, writing stories, making videos, up to annoying people and being emo.

I still remembered that I never took a nap that eagerly as I was a kid tho. My mum literally forced me to take a nap during those days. I even remembered my dad promised me and my sis some ice cream if we slept at least 4 hours. Come to think about it, I think he only wanted to have some private time with his secret lover, but what the heck? This entry is about me <______<

I started to sleep at noons as I came to high school. Yes, that was exactly the time when I actually valued the worth of a few hours sleep -_________-
And the hobbies continued until now. Of course, during my addiction period, I paid Maple time with my sleeping hours, but again it's not about my addiction <________<

I just can't understand how people can simply judge me that I have no friends at all. Hell, I DO talk with human beings!!!! I just don't want to go shopping with them or going to the movies and doing all those girly things that make me sick. It is simply NOT my hobby!
Is it sinful that I don't enjoy the presence of human beings around me all the time? Call me a lone wolf, so what`?
Besides, it is not like I scowl around or what. They also don't try to get closer to me, why the hell do I have to make the first move? Not to mention I don't need them at all!

Or if it comes about love. I just lost my heart + feelings + emotions so love is more like non existent to me. But why do people have to keep rubbing it under my nose that I have no boyfriend? Hell I don't need a boyfriend currently! I am happy being single! And I will be happier if they all can stop being nosy and care for their own business.

And if they think that I am not having fun in my life, I DO have fun. My fun only doesn't consist of all of their hobbies. So how come I am not having fun while I am? When I'm sleeping? -________________-

-_________________- yah thats all thx for reading.........

Two Hundred Fifty Sixth Entry

2007-04-16T19:24:41Z

To keep you informed about my currect non-psychic situation :
In exactly a week I will face my last bachelor exam, namely in inorganic chemistry, and finally I can continue studying with bachelor degree in my hands ^^
I am really excited but mostly scared because I, for one, hate inorganic chemistry. Gosh, I wish you know how much I hate this subject. Of all 5 semesters in my chemistry study, inorganic chemistry was the only subject I ever failed in.
The professor is well known for being human (you know what I mean), and he never lets anyone fail during exam, although he has to give ppl a lot of D's but who cares? Stupidly, I do care. I want an A or B T________T
But if I am really terrible later during the exam, a D is good enough =D

In exactly three weeks I will face the notorious Numeric and Programming exam =D
And I have NO IDEA what I have to learn =D

And I am finally getting bored of playing Maple Story.
It takes me 105 lvls full of addiction and 2 screwed up bachelor exams (yes, I have to admit it is all because of the whole playing -_-) to finally get lost of this game. Currently I am only on for some challenging battle (4 hours every week max) but I no longer train. it is just too boring, I am glad I play a lot less now. This way I have more time to learn, and I eventually plan to start playing piano again >.<

Guess what, guess what, my birthday is in 11 days =D
(I am being older, boo hoo)
xDDDDDD

Two Hundred Fifty Fifth Entry

2007-04-10T18:38:01Z

You have no idea how hard it is to start writing an entry again after being absent for such a long time.
Not that I live my days like a walking zombie, but every precious moment I experience everyday seems to be less precious now that I easily forget about it. When the time comes as I want to write an entry I just sit in front of my laptop wondering what I want to write, and so on.

Every single thing coming to my mind always drives me to tears right now. It looks like nothing is going well, although actually there is nothing wrong with my life. I finally passed the exam I didn't pass last year, for which I have been mourning 1 year long thanks to my mother who never ceased to remind me of that one failed exam. I remembered my one-year fear waiting to write the exam again, the hopeful expectancy of the outcome of the exam, and the joyful glee as I found out I passed. But I forgot to be grateful to God, I don't know why.

I also passed another notorious exam, which 98% examers failed last year. I passed it on my first try. Most of my friends failed. It is, indeed, really God's bless, I can't find a better reason for that. And yet, I still forget to be grateful.

During my darkness period (I mean now, as well) I even forget to talk to people around me. I can still be funny, be cheerful, be happy, but all of those are made up. The face I usually make has a blank expression, and that is exactly how I'm feeling : blank. I feel bad for not calling my mother as often as I want to. I promised her this time it will be twice a month instead of a dragged call once a month.

Recently I met a lot of nice people online. I am supposed to be happy about it, but again, I feel absolutely nothing. If they can see me in real life they might understand what's wrong with me. But again, I am a big liar so I always pretend to be the carefree little girl I have always wanted to be, online. Then they want to be friends with me. Fine. Then it comes to the matter of "trust".
They can't understand why I can't trust them. Fact is, I trust no one other than myself. My principle is, "Never trust anyone with anything you are not ready to lose".
So why can't they understand?

Back when I reread "Mr.Fredward's Duck" I got the answer to my question.
Rosemary was saying "We love you. Isn't that normal to expect that you love us as well in return?"
I think I can see that as a compliment that they love me, or trust me. But why can't I just go back to my past self and trust and love them in return? I think I am no longer able to take any risk concerning anything.

I am protecting my heart. Or rather, I am protecting my heart too well that it becomes numb. It is like when someone embraced you to protect you. If the embrace is too tight you can hardly breath.

Or perhaps I have hedgehog dilemma? They can't hug each other without hurting each other. Any relationship with me seems to have a dark shadow as background. Even worse, I am not bothered by it and it nearly seems like I am enjoying it. Is something wrong with me? I can't feel anything anymore.

I'm gonna reread my previous posts I guess, to learn about my past self better. Perhaps I will get my heart back. I don't know. The 11-year-old me who knew about online world for the first time seems to have been gone. At that time many people said to me, "You are really special."
How come I don't feel that special anymore? Is it because I grow up? Do I lose my naivety? Or stupidity as I always call it? Do I lose positive insights in life? What exactly has changed in me? What makes me feel this calm although I am screaming deep inside? What is the bitter taste in my heart?

Two Hundred Fifty Fourth Entry

2007-03-31T08:44:35Z

Hi guys, do you miss me? XDDDD

I know, I know, I have been gone for more than a month. To tell the truth? Time passes by and I hardly notice it is passing.
I just want to tell you all that I am still alive. No I had no accident. No I wasn't travelling. I am simply there but also not there.

Remember as I said I wanted to dispose my heart? Surprise, I think I actually made it. I have managed to maintain my emotion so greatly these days that I hardly feel anything. Nothing can hurt me, but nothing can cheer me up as well. You might want to say that I am mutating to a wandering zombie. Not a good one huh ^^;;;;;;;;

Funnily.... with this kind of condition and with my fake response to everything around me I come to know that people are more happy to have me around than before. This is what I have been predicting. They want a bitching post who doesn't bitch back.

For some reason I can't throw it all on their heads, I don't know why. I can easily be mean, I can push them down the cliff while they are being depressed over something else, but why don't I do that? After all they have done the same to me in my darkest time. And they feel no regret to it. So why can't I do it? I see no gain being nice, and I see no loss being unnice, after all they are all like that.

Oh well, I will take a little nap to this. I slept at 3 am yesterday because I was chatting on msn xDDDDDD

Cya fellows.

Two Hundred Fifty Third Entry

2007-02-17T08:30:47Z

Hai guys, here is the link to the second part of the video, enjoy ^^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws59ZahCiBM

I am so proud of this project, really really XDDDD
It is only a shame that not everyone share this opinion.
I got some really bad comments on another site >__________<

One thing that I notice... It really hurts me to hear bad comments from people who aren't even engaged in the making for one second (I mean my dear guild mates). Its a real insult if they speak up their mind, although they are only being honest <____________<

Two Hundred Fifty Second Entry

2007-02-06T15:52:40Z

This is the reason why I am a loner.........

Me : I like to play Maple Story, I always play it when I want to get rid of college stress.

Her : I like to go shopping and spending a lot of money, plus going here and there and eat in expensive restaurant. But you are a freak.

Me : I am concerned about my friends in Maple Story, they seem to be addicted badly currently.

Her : Because everyone who plays Maple is a freak.

Me : What do you know about Maple so that you can say that?

Her : It is obvious. No need of playing.

Me : I don't like eating together with people I don't know at all because I don't want to be the fifth wheel of a wagon.

Her : How are you supposed to know new people then?

Me : You are kinda brutal, you pushed me so hard that I fell on the trotoar and half of my body was numb.

Her : You are SO weak. That was such a light push, nearly a wind breeze. And if your body hurt from such a fall, then you have a granny body.

Me : I like to joke around, it is nice to laugh once a while.

Her : You are insane.

Someone : Hey, come to Church on Sunday please. I will wait for you two.

Her : Hmp, God is only a theory. No one knows if God really exists or not. Besides, I have lost my faith in such things. Useless talk.

Me : I still believe in God and I feel kinda guilty that I neglect God in this moment. I promise I will work on that though.

Her : You are a fanatic.

Me : I don't like using body creams. Well I do use them sometimes, but not regularly.

Her : You are just stupid.

Me : I don't really take good care about my appearance. I wear only things I like to wear.

Her : That's why you are so boyish.

Me : I don't like to go shopping and buy lots of clothes. I don't have time for that.

Her : What kind of girl are you actually???

That's the typical conversation I have everyday with these hip girls.
Talking about God, there is something interesting to notice. I have read this somewhere in a joke, but I will just repeat it in this entry ^^
"Men say, 'God, leave us alone, we don't need You.'
Then God leaves them alone, and they experience a great calamity.
And they scream out, 'God, why aren't You there when I need You? Indeed, You are not existent.'"

If I were God, I would spend my time on Hawaii and enjoy the sun and the beach. The fact that He actually still cares for the rotten mankind only speaks for His Love and Mercy toward human beings. But of course, no one thinks about that.

As a good Christian, I am obliged to bring people back to His way. But seeing my convesation up there, no words come out of my mouth to bring this girl back to God. Why?
Because she doesn't deserve God -_____________- in my opinion.
I am sorry Lord for deciding on my own whether she deserves Your Love or not. I know if she does, you will make sure she gets it. But nothing can convince me that she deserves anything nice from You for now. I hope I am not the one You want to bring her back to faith. Sorry. I am a newbie in such things -__-

Oh yes, the guild video my guild made is finished ^^
The first part is already uploaded in youtube, I hope you will like it as well. Check it out if you have time ^^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80IAua0pyQc

Two Hundred Fifty First Entry

2007-01-31T20:23:56Z

I don't exactly intend to rant, going emo or bitch around in this post, trust me.
I don't even know why I am not going to be so explosive this time, perhaps I am finally getting used to this world. Hooray.

Anyway, I will explain from the very first beginning. We have another brand new kind of practical course this semester, namely Technical Chemistry, I do this one practical course with two girls, A and B.
Everything was going pretty fine until yesterday, as we had our first fight. By first fight I mean me versus the other two. Don't ask me, I have no idea how come I am always the lone wolf who opens up its way among enemies (dramatic version of me).
I was, indeed, kinda gloomy the whole day yesterday, I had to admit. It was a hard, stressy day, and these two worsened it by teasing me all the time. Calling me names, saying that I was crazy, pushing me around (jokingly---heh, if only I see that as a joke....).
But I stayed calm. Really.
After the practical course was done we stayed a bit longer to work on the protocols. So there we were, sitting side by side working on the protocols (and I am the one who does all calculation, as we might all expect). My mood didn't become better as they bossed me around, here and there and I ended up shoving all the work under their noses, hoping that they would shut up. At that time we had 1 main diagram and 2 pages full of calculations. A friend came by and I spent the next 30 min chatting with him on purpose, so I could finally relax a bit. It was fun. As I turned around, we had a second diagram, and those two were so proud of being able to make another diagram which was so easy to make since they only had to copy the first diagram that I made before.
"Look, we changed the colour and the pattern!"
Oh yea, oh yea, how wonderful it looks so great, nice job..............

The fight began after the whole protocol thingy was done. Before we packed up to go home I asked casually where the experiment results for the day was. They stared at me then they laughed, telling me that I had the results.
I told them I wasn't joking, I didn't have the papers with me.
We started searching around frantically, and I asked them to check their bags, perhaps they had the papers.
Then they started hitting on me, saying I was the last one holding to the papers, and that they definitely not had it in their bags. I told them over and over, I really didn't have it. It was a roll of paper, and it would be so obvious if I had it.

After looking around here and there, during which time the two girls didn't stop repeating that I was the last one holding the papers, we (yeah me and the two girls) came to the conclusion, we lost it somewhere. Then they started hitting on me the other way. "How can u lose it! It is so important, we might have to do it all over again, this is awful etc, etc."
I ran up to the assistant up in second floor, followed by the two girls, and I found one, who must clearly see that I was in such a bad mood. He opened up the lab so we could look around for the lost paper. During our time of search, again, those two girls just can't shut up and keep rubbing the matter under my nose.
I finally spotted the roll of paper on a table, and I was so delighted to find it. And the other two? Well. They were delighted. But!
They started hitting on me again, scolding me not to lose that paper again.

I don't know what word is coming to your mind when you are on my place, but I could only think about this one word as they started hitting on me again.
"Only because I touched the paper once doesn't mean I am fully responsible to it," I yelled in anger.
And there the fight began. For some unfathomable reason, they were angry at me because I was angry at them because they hit on me.

Sure.... the Bible said, if they hit you on left cheek, give your right cheek as well. But what after both of your cheeks are hit? Give them a knife to cut off your head?
Basically I am a person who loves to stay calm the most, but step on my toe and I will flame.

Ironically, we all left with anger embedded in our heart. Especially me.

All the way home I tried my best to calm myself and as I was home, my anger was 50% gone.

Then I went on msn, and A was on. I had no need to talk to her so, what the heck? I ignored her. She sent me a message asking if I was still angry. Stupid me, I thought it was a sign of care/support. I answered, I was much better by now. And guess what she said to me later on? "I think your behaviour before was uncalled for. So childish."
Heh.
I don't need to explain, you must know if those words were nice or not.

The point is,
living among human beings, you are demanded to be no-human, You are demanded to be a soulless being. You may not have heart, you may not show emotions, you must always smile no matter how. Otherwise, you are either selfish or childish.
Too bad huh? I am so selfish and childish. You can go around the world in 80 days and you will not find someone as selfish and childish as me. I am a rare example.

Oh and.......
I am taking a break from Maple Story currently, due to the exams. In some way I am delighted, since I can now concentrate on real life stuffs. In other way I am freaked out because I feel like slacking off at training my character, which is actually so unimportant currently. I don't know why I am so serious about it, really.

Well the plan for the night is to work on my next programming homework, which is awesomely difficult and brainstorming (ah..... the joy)
I hope I will get a step farther today =)
Nite all ~

Two Hundred Fiftieth Entry

2007-01-08T15:49:59Z

Hello Folks, Happy belated New Year!!!!
(yeah yeah I am sooo unactive at lj lately ;_____________;)

Okay I have two things in mind right now. One is about a lost friendship, but it is so unworthy or more or less a stupid friendship with stupid person so I would rather tell you about my first thought in new year ^_____________^

Today, I read the original story of "The Little Mermaid" for the second time in my life. I am speaking about the one by Hans Christian Andersen. If you haven't had any chance to take a peek at it, here is the link for the story =P

http://hca.gilead.org.il/li_merma.html

As you arrive to this paragraph I expect you all to have read the story already.

As I read the story for the first time (I was eight), I cried loudly at the part in which the little mermaid turned into foam. By the way, I had no idea she became some sort of daughter of air o.o;;;;;;;;;;;;
All I could think about at that time was that Arielle was a real fool. She should have killed the prince and returned to the sea, why the hesitate?

As I read the story again today, with the fact that she became a daughter of air, I didn't cry but I was lost in thought.
What if Arielle really killed the prince and returned to the sea? Would it be such an EVIL deed?
After all, she had suffered enough. She saved the prince and the prince had no idea about it. She had to lose her voice merely because of her wish to be close to the prince. She had to get used to walking on land, which wasn't easy for her at all. And she had to witness how the person she loved so much married another girl, who was accidentally thought to be the one who saved the prince (which was actually Arielle). Yes, I think Arielle should have stabbed the prince and saved herself at last moment.

If she had saved herself, she would have returned to the sea. Her whole family would rejoice over her return and they would return to their way of living before all that happened. But I don't think Arielle would be able to forget the whole incident so easily. She had killed the person she loved the most in sleep to save herself. She would think of herself as the most selfish person in the world. Of course, she could always say that she did that only for her family's sake, and for the sake of her sisters' beautiful hair, which was exchanged against the knife to kill the prince. But if only she hadn't left to find the sea witch on the first place, all of this wouldn't have happened.

Arielle's family on the other side, would want Arielle back no matter what. Because they loved her and they wanted her back. But would it make them happy if Arielle lived on in sorrow? Sooner or later she might kill herself because of regret that she had killed the prince. Was it a right thing to do to demand Arielle to kill the prince and come back?
No matter what the reason was, killing was never justified by anything. Not to mention that the prince was innocent in all of this. He was stupid, of course, because he knew so little about this whole story, and he also recognized wrong girl for right deed *sigh*, but he still was innocent.
He only knew that he was once rescued from a ship accident by some girl, whoever it was. He didn't even remember face, or ask for names and addresses, or telephone number. Then some strange, dumb girl appeared on the shore and became his playmate. Soon afterwards, he was told to get marry and (falsely) recognized the neighbour country princess as the one who saved him previously and married her right away. Then the night after marriage he was dead?
I bet if he really died that time he would be like "Uh, what's going on here did I miss something?"

If only Arielle hadn't soar up to the surface and insisted to become a human, she would still spend 300 years of her life under the surface. But her heart would forever long after the prince and either she died in sorrow or she died in loneliness. In short, she wouldn't be happy either.

Why did Arielle sacrifice so many things for the prince? Because he was handsome? Was that all? Okay, they also said he was nice in the story. He was indeed a charming guy. Was that enough reason to die for him? Or was it love?
Love is something scary, somehow. Once you love someone it looks like you no longer can control your body and mind. If only Arielle had thought and calculated the whole thing, she would have stayed under the sea. We all know witches are not to trust. So why did Arielle do what her heart desire? Is that what we should do? Follow our heart? I mean, the girl had such a luck that at the end she didn't turn into foam and gained eternal life instead. It could have gone wrong right? Even the old grandma of her had no idea this could have happened.
Arielle jumped to the sea, ready to disappeared forever. For someone who had no idea what she had done for him. If she hadn't become a daughter of air and disappeared instead, was it fair then? After all she began the trouble, and she ended the trouble.

Everyone wants to be happy, but no one knows what lie before the happiness. No one knows as well what would make one happy. If we come to the decision to choose between several paths of life, which one should we choose? The one our heart longs for? The one our mind tells us to go through? Or we all walk with blindfolded eyes and land in a surprising place? Or is it fate we are missing here?

Yeah thats my first thought for this new year. Now I shall return back to my homework which lies untouched next to me ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Until next time guys =)
Be safe and cheerful ^___________________^

Two Hundred Forty Third Entry

2006-10-16T13:55:32Z

H O W D Y ! ! ! ! !

First day college, new semester. My impression? Nothing cos many lectures are cancelled XDDDD

I have so many new pets (mainly dragons) and I am trying to put them on mood ^^. Do you think it will work? Anyhow, it will look very cool. AH yes you might be asking yourself why am I redesigning many things on lj today. Well I have 2 hours of spare time because of a cancelled lecture and I have absolutely no idea what to do. So I went to the nearest computer available and start surfing ^_^;;;;;

I like this dragon the most :
OMG he looks so cool.

Oh and I start to miss Maple Story ;______________;
But my semester already begins and so I have enough to do. All I can do for now is sighing for my loss and learn -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Yesterday I got to lvl 70 =D
And did the 3rd job advancement. My character is now a priest!!!!! YAY!!!!

The SIMS 2 has a new expansion I just found out today. Glamour Life Stuff. I already attached it to my SIMS 2 but my computer crashed before I could play it T.T
I hope there is nothign serious... After I go back home I will check on it T.T
Okay then fellows, have a nice day. I am off to my next existing lecture ^__________________^ *huggles you all*

Two Hundred Thirty Ninth Entry

2006-09-29T13:27:05Z

Cats T-T
Cats cats <3 <3 cats...

I want the big cat *____________*
gimme gimme gimme

Two Hundred Thirty Eighth Entry

2006-09-28T15:04:49Z

I think I am having a quarterlife crisis....

As long as I remember all I wanted to do for now was to study diligently, finish the college as soon as possible and go to work.

But lately I am slacking off. I just don't want to go further anymore. I need the college but on the other side I don't really understand why. This is what people call laziness. Question is, what is your motivation to go on? I need some opinions ^_________^

One week to the frightful exam =P
I am so uncalm T^T

Two Hundred Thirty Seventh Entry

2006-09-22T19:18:36Z

Continuing from my last entry about the guy I liked and his utmost care for his girlfriend............

I told a friend of mine about this matter. And she said I was being selfish because I couldn't bear to suffer a bit so that the guy could comfort the girlfriend.

I was like......................... you know what I want to say.

I mean, what is not-selfish? If you suffer so that people can be happier?

Well I am sorry, then I am very selfish then. I don't see any reason why I should suffer for others' happiness. I have been kicked around my whole life and I have no intention to be kicked around on FREE WILL. What am I, a punching bag?

I think people are free to do anything to protect themselves. The selfish part begins when they do something which is not necessary for themselves and damage others instead.

The "angelic" part begins when they suffer for others' happiness. But I don't want to be an angel on this earth. I don't want to be slaughtered by all these people so they can feast upon me.

And this girl called me selfish. O___________________O

Of course I am selfish. That's why I still listen to the guy's sharing about the girlfriend although I want to tell him the best to stop it.

Gee I am sooooo selfish. I am so selfish because I was hurt as the guy ignored me for another girl. Only feeling hurt is already selfish huh? -_____________________-

.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.

Two Hundred Thirty Fifth Entry

2006-09-14T13:35:45Z

WAH!!!!! WAH!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T.T

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3e22GsEHE

OMG You have to see this!!! You definitely have to!!!! I have been trying to play this one on piano so desperately and someone can play it so beautifully!!!! YOU JUST HAVE TO SEE IT!!!!!
Can't wait for tomorrow to come (piano practice, ehm ehm), I will watch it again and again until I remember the finger sequences T____________T

And this one as well

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovNYUHer-V8

I don't have the sheets but if I can get it I will surely try to play. I don't know why but I keep crying while listening to this song T.T

*howl to the sun because I can't play it so well T.T*

Two Hundred Thirty Third Entry

2006-09-09T08:28:41Z

I think I shouldn't give up being myself.

This world has too many kinds of people that I can't characterize and put them in groups as I want.

And yet there are groups.

Most groups will reject me.

But there must be at least one group which will accept me.

People should assume that people who belong to this group will meet.

But they are scattered all over the whole earth.

And there are so few chances where people of the same group meet.

In some chances we pass each other, pretending not to belong to the same group.

In some chances we chase after people of other groups and ignore people of own group.

In some chances we are too busy to deal with our own feeling that we oversee many things.

So we waste so many chances already.

And there are so few people meant to meet.

The spirituals belong to spiritual group.

People who care about God and want to serve Him for their whole life.

That's their way.

The selfish belong to selfish group.

People who only care for themselves and love themselves above all.

That's their way.

The wicked belong to wicked group.

People who use all means to destroy others.

That's their way.

And there must be sensitive group somewhere.

And I bet there are many kinds of it as well.

Sensitive and sweet, sensitive and selfish, sensitive and arrogant, sensitive and etc. etc.

I will find my group someday.

Not in the very nearest future, I suppose...

But I will find my group.

They might be hiding from sun and walk out only in the moonlight.

But as long as I have my chances to take some walk in the moonlight,

we will surely meet.

I ask myself if we will recognize each other ^__________^

Two Hundred Thirty First Entry

2006-09-04T18:12:45Z

A h e m.

http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2005/13may_2004mn4.htm

Please remind me in time to stare out of the window if the time comes. I hope we are all still alive till then =P
Do you think if u see an asteroid pass by you can pray for a wish to come true?

A bit too early to think from now on, but if its a free wish I definitely don't want to ruin it >_______< NYAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, btw. You will never imagine how thankful I am to God recently. My Maple Story lags so severely that whenever I play I will die right away XDDDD
It is a bless. A BLESS ladies and gents. Because then I can finally concentrate on Organic Chemistry. I hope it lags until 5th October.
If you ask me, guys, THIS is GOD'S HELPING HAND XDDDDD
Oh, and ^^;;;; although I am not exactly happy about it, my best buddies from Maple Story also can't get on. One is too busy to maintain her household, two are starting with school, one of the two has his account blocked, and the other one doesn't wanna play without the first one XDDDDDDDDDDD
That means : Everytime I open the game client, see that I lag, no buddies are on, and I am out already.

THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a bit down because that means I won't level for sometime but who cares? It's not like I can't. I just have more priorities to go for =P

The exam is in one month >.<
I am being all so nervous.....>.<

But I will do my best @.@
Definitely >___________________<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh a side question : I have a friend who has this habit : If I am down or I have a problem, she asks continuously about my problems until I open my mouth. Then she says "Oh" and next topic. Isn't that a bit... pissing off?
Do you think I should tell her directly that she is not exactly being a supporting pillar if I am down on the floor?
Or should I just smile, keep saying that I am ok, and ignore her?

-.-;;;;;;;;;

Two Hundred Thirtieth Entry

2006-09-03T14:09:59Z

Ahem.... any of you know what this is?
My newest pet, if it is a pet. I have a feeling that that is a brownies XDDDD

What is loneliness actually? When do you feel lonely?
I am used to do things all by myself. I can spend my lifetime being alone and say nothing to anyone .

And yet, if I like someone, and he/she is not there, I will really be lonely. So is it right if I say that you can only be lonely if you have people you miss?
Is it even a good sign of you lose spirit to do stuffs because you are all alone?
If that is so perhaps it is better to be alone at all. Not to miss anything...
And yet if I am sitting alone among two high shelves in a library where everything seems to be private for me and I do enjoy it ,
I will eventually become lonely and wish someone will pass by....
Of course not some nasty guys I want to kick
Rather someone who will accompany me in silence, because I don't like to speak too much
Wrong. I do like to speak, but I hate the introduction
Oh, this is confusing. Brownies for you

All my love chu!!!!!!!

Two Hundred Twenty Eighth Entry

2006-08-24T17:42:45Z

Talk about romantic and sweet words ^_____^'''''''''''''''''

"Every person is born alone.
But after one enters the world, one is not alone anymore.
Slowly but sure, one becomes part of others.
One gives others one's heart and vice versa.
At the end, no one can say that one belongs to one only.
Because one then mostly belongs to many many people.

That's why, although every person is born alone,
no one will die alone.
Because when one die, one will take parts of others with one.
One will take pieces of others' hearts in one's death.

So don't say you want to die alone.
Because you will definitely break my heart.
At least take a piece of my heart with you.
We are friends aren't we?"

My frozen heart melts a bit I guess ^______^
It is so sweet...........

Two Hundred Twenty Seventh Entry

2006-08-22T16:51:36Z

I have calmed myself. Thanks for the support guys ^________^b

A friend was angry at me. Well I am the wrong one, I have to admit. We were, ehm, talking about suicide again (I wonder why we talk about this thing so much. I feel like walking into the realm of death with purpose).
This time we also talked about happiness.
I was complaining about the fact that it was a pity we couldn't know what's the best for us (of course God knows the best for us and it is best to let Him take care of our lives, but my ego as a human kinda demanded to know that as well =P). There were many ways to reach one goal, we talked about. At the end only one way would be taken, the way which God thought the best for us. Then I spoke up, "But I might like the other ways better. Perhaps the other way is quicker and painless."

And suddenly we came to the topic "Bad things are necessary to make people realize that good things are good" as well as "Light is light because it shines in the darkness".
Among the bad things is, of course, death.
I have never been very excited about living on earth, if you can remember ^________^;;;
But I am not the one who threaten around that I will commit suicide as well ^__________^;;;
I said, "One's death can eventually lead to many people's happiness,"
He agreed. Then he asked me something. I fell into the trap -_______-;;;;; call me an idiot....

"Say, if an angel comes and tells you this : "As soon as you die, your sister will marry a millionaire and your whole family will live in eternal wealth and health. But that will only happen if you kill yourself in 24 hours. You will die in normal way three years later though." Will you kill yourself for that?"

I didn't answer "Yes"!!!! I really didn't!!!! But I made a long pause and deep inside I already asked myself how I was supposed to kill myself.

So he was angry. It was an insult to him, he said, that I placed other people's happiness upon my own life -_______-;;;;
I know what he meant... and that was so lovely of him. But... I just can't imagine to let go of a very rare chance like that even if I have to sacrifice myself. Forever in my life, I will be a lamb volunteering to be chopped *shudder*
If an angel really comes to me and says such things to me, I wonder if I will jump from my window right away ........... *shudder*

Is it... actually okay to be selfish enough to live on while others can be happy if you die? I really wonder.... I won't throw my life away for useless people, of course, but for my family?
I really wonder.

He still talks to me. He is just angry innerly. No, the correct word is "infuriated".

Anyways, I said "I am glad God doesn't send me an angel to tell what might or might happen to me if I die or not or if I do any things or not."
He said coldly, "Me too. Otherwise I will have to tie you up with some ropes."

So friends... answers? Solutions? Questions? Please don't be angry at me as well ;_______;

Two Hundred Twenty Sixth Entry

2006-08-21T11:28:38Z

A quick update from Maple Story : a friend reminds me that I am starting to get addicted in a crazy way to Maple Story so I have to stay away from playing at least for one week. Today is the second day and I am pretty "clean".

And now about my university problem. Since next semester I will be fifth semester students, today I am suddenly faced to the fact that I am no longer a freshman. I have to start to learn very diligently like crazy so I can eventually match the standard capability the university is demanding from me.
Suddenly everything becomes so messed up.
I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how I am going to plan my next semester. It is not only that there are so few information about what might be awaiting me, NO!
There are just TOO MUCH to do and I believe I am crushing under the weight of RESPONSIBILITY.
The next practical course waiting for me is something called ORGANIC CHEMISTRY II. This one has been haunting me for years because ppl keep talking about it and force me to see it as a dangerous thing.
The practical course will require me to beg here and there (did I say beg?) to get place where I can cook (did I say cook?) my experiments (ok, you DON'T COOK EXPERIMENTS. You DO EXPERIMENTS). Of course, the assistants in organic chemistry are just smart and they can be asked for help. But we may not forget that some of them are true meanies who will dump me in the trash can because I stutter while saying up a formula name. As a matter of fact, I am freaked out.

A friend tried to calm me down. He said, the next thing that should bother me is my VERY IMPORTANT EXAM in 6 weeks. That's all. But there are still many other things that I should take care of and suddenly 24 hours a day don't seem to be enough! I am only 21!!!!!!! \(ToT)/
I know I don't make sense anymore. I can't do this. This is too much!!
There must be something wrong in this system. There must be a way out but how??
They can't possibly ask us to do ALL the courses in 4 semesters if no one can do it? How come they haven't made any improvement in this matter? This is so unhearable!

Okay, okay, let's put things out on the table. Today I will go to buy some groceries. I will go past the book shop and I will have a nice evening there. Good start.
Then tonight I will open up my beloved Organic Chemistry book and start to learn until 5. October. Good end.

Next point. The next day, I will do the same. The day following as well, etc. On friday I will take some rest and put aways all my frust by playing piano. OOOKAY!

6 weeks from now, I will do the freaking exam. I will do it. How and how, no comment. ^____________^;;;;;;;;;;

Right after I leave the exam room, I will start to put up my semester schedule. I will plan things together, and squeeze Anorganic Chemistry II (the only class I didn't pass last year) somewhere between my head and my neck.

Then the semester will start. Then I have to take care of the practical courses. The ORGANIC CHEMISTRY II I mean. I have to visit some preparation lectures, I have to make a group of three (OMG A GROUP OF THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and do something unclear, when or where or with whom?
Then the practical courses will start, but for that I need to pass the VERY IMPORTANT EXAM first, AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH so back to the first line.

*faint*

Two Hundred Twenty Fifth Entry

2006-08-17T11:43:29Z

I bought Edamer cheese yesterday (1,59 euro) and put it in the refrigator (it is a common refrigerator, shared by 4 ppl). This morning as I happily prepared my breakfast the whole pack was gone. I haven't tasted even 1 mm² of the cheese. Besides, my frites in the freezer is gone as well. No clue.
Unless they develop some legs and run away from the apartment, I shall assume they are stolen.
I have my suspicion and I guess you also know who I suspect. But I am too lazy to look inside the trash can and I have to eat bread without cheese.
You know what guys? I hate thieves.

One stole my spatula once without any single regret and I believe this one doesn't have any regret as well. Just when and where did I pass lessons like "Steal things if you have the chance!" or "Never care about others. Let them die in their sorrow."

I give up the hope that human beings are actually nice creatures. The first thing I will ask God if I meet Him is why He didn't wipe up the humanity 10 minutes after He created it and if cheeses and frites have any legs on Thursday, 17th August 2006. Perhaps I miss something -_____-